Melicia's Bishomon Adventures Part Two
by Deus Magi
Summary: Mixes just about anything with the concept of pocket bishounen. Melicia decides she wants to capture the ultimate bishounen of the .hack series, only to find that some happy endings just aren't meant to be seen.
1. When Consoles Collide

Author's Note: Helluu everyone! Time for a little bit o' fun. After some hardcore work on Anthem's Report (who am I kidding?), I've decide to lay back and write another Bishoumon story. This time I've had inspiration from Pokémon Sapphire. Anyone remember the part where you meet Wally? *Ahem* I have no idea where this is going...but I suppose it just reminded me of Icchan from Angelic Layer. (I can't wait for the anime to come to America!) Also, this is a new format. The old one was childish.  
  
Another thing. If you read someone's story, review it! Certainly even a flame or two couldn't hurt. And I do appreciate them now and again. when I'm in need of a laugh. *smirk* So please review if you actually read this. Although it's a rarity.  
  
Disclaimer: Actually...this is kind of scattered. Pocket Bishounen belongs to...Tokio? When is that guy gonna reopen the site!? I wanna catch some more bishoumon! Well, Pokémon belongs to Gamefreak. Don't sue me, guys. I buy your merchandise!  
  
References:   
This place is closed for now.but there's a bishoujo and seibutsu site as well.  
  
Melicia's Bishoumon Adventures - Part Two  
  
**Start: Chapter One**  
  
"By all the gods!" exclaimed Palin, jabbing the Staff of Magius, the gift from his uncle Raistlin, into Melicia's face. "She's dead!"  
  
Hotohori-sama waved a regal hand, looking beautiful in the afternoon sun. (Hell, he looks beautiful any time of day.) "She's not dead. She's sleeping."  
  
"Listen pal," Palin said shaking a valiant fist. "I've fought in the war! I've seen death on the faces of my own two brothers! Don't tell me when death isn't around when it's right at my feet." Palin continued prodding the snoozing Melicia, who, strangely, did look rather pale for a living person. It could have been the clashing robes. Or not.  
  
"Oh the humanity!" moaned the white robe. "What do we do from here?"  
  
"Escape, maybe," commented Hotohori. "I mean, it's not like I enjoy being sworn to fidelity against my will. I'm an emperor for crying out loud." Palin's eyes rolled. He'd had just about enough of this anime freak and was just about to reach for his spell components when.  
  
"Good morrow, Cuz!" Melicia was on her feet in a flash. "What's the itinerary for today, Palin? Are we off to find ol' Raistlin?"  
  
Palin, at the moment, was on the ground, writhing in a surprise-seizure. Hotohori crossed his arms dejectedly and refused to speak.  
  
"Meanies. Let's train! Let's explore! Let's do something!" Melicia was full to bursting with excitement, and only when Palin redeemed his composure did she cease her consistent hopping.  
  
Palin lightly fanned himself. He definitely was not an outdoorsy kind of person, and afternoon suns were simply right out. "Well, since we're in a Monty Python mood all of a sudden," (he glanced around nervously, hoping some superior, gun-toting figure was lurking about), "what say you we find some rabbits to kill?"  
  
"Bugger off." The source of the voice hopefully needs not naming. "I'm tired of this already."  
  
"Give it a rest, Hotohori-sama," Melicia pleaded, revealing that which was secret for a less-than applicable time. "I don't see what the big deal is. You're not the only one who's been captured. I seem to remember hearing about Chichirii's unfortunate little run-in."  
  
Hotohori inexplicably snorted in irritation. "Escaped. He used that stupid, yet seemingly heaven sent at the moment hat of his."  
  
Palin muttered something about run-on sentences.  
  
"Run-on sentence my foot. At any rate, we should do something to further the plotline. Any suggestions, my loyal companions?"  
  
Palin muttered something about Kite from .hack//Infection.  
  
Melicia slapped a fist to her palm. "Great idea, Palin! Where would we find him?"  
  
Suddenly, Hotohori was hooked up to a set of VR goggles, handling a Playstation controller and facing an out-of-place terminal. "I'd say Delta - Hidden, Forbidden, Holy Ground. But isn't that where Tsukasa hangs out?"  
  
"Something wrong, Hotohori-sama?" Melicia asked, concern peppering her words.  
  
"Absolutely not."  
  
Melicia nodded. "You're probably right. But then again, I did read something about the anime and the game clashing together in that Mutation article."  
  
Palin muttered something that sounded vaguely like "Yes, it was in that CG image, you doorknob."  
  
"Yippee! Let's head to 'The World'!" With that, the trio was off, Hotohori and terminal in tow.  
  
**End: Chapter One** 


	2. Beam Me Up!

Author's Note: I just read over chapter one, which was written months ago, I believe. I might as well write a second and upload them when I'm done. Now, commenting on the actual story, I know it's poorly written, but I read once in a magazine that grammatical errors are good once in a while to make a story creative. You know. . .this is supposed to be funny. Just remember, you read it, you review it. Stumbling across something this unlikely is a miracle (however horrible it may be).  
  
Disclaimer: Pocket Bishounen belongs to Tokio. You can visit the site here: (When you arrive, you'll see nothing but a note complaining about the server and an empty promise to bring the site back.) Pokémon (Pocket Monsters) is the property of Gamefreak and Nintendo.  
  
Melicia's Bishoumon Adventures - Part Two  
  
**Start: Chapter Two**  
  
Melicia, after a long undeserved break, had completely played through .hack//Mutation as she waited for the story to continue. By the time The Almighty arrived, she was busy attempting to reach level seventy-five so she would be prepared for the next installment. Hotohori impatiently tapped on her shoulder, insisting she put the PS2 back where she had found it. The girl complied without a question. The effort was hopeless, anyway.  
  
"It's about time," Melicia complained. "Let's go catch Kite. And while we're at it, let's snatch Balmung off as well."  
  
Palin stepped up, VR goggles in hand. "Unfortunately, Lady Melicia, there are people who are referring to Balmung as Barmunk simply because they don't understand the Japanese language. We may have to alter our tactics drastically." Hotohori snarled in an out of character manner. Wizards were always showing off. The emperor had enjoyed running that snot-nosed blonde brat through a while back when he had insisted he would cast a curse on Hotohori. It was, indeed, a good feeling.  
  
Melicia snatched the VR goggles from Palin and handed them to Hotohori. So far he had the highest level character, so it would be best for him to look for Balmung. "Don't worry about it. As long as he's identified as 'Balmung' in 'The World', he will be easy for us to find. Does anyone know Orca's password?"  
  
Palin sighed. Maybe a bit of training would have satisfied him more than this wild goose chase. At any rate, he wondered if his uncle had been dressed as a hacker in any of the Dragonlance fanfiction yet. If it had happened, it would mean another disclaimer, but this situation would be made so much more simpler.  
  
"Palin," Melicia said in her unnaturally irritating voice. His reverie was diminished. "Find us another terminal, will ya?" Palin sighed yet again, the open image of his own misery.  
  
Hotohori had logged into "The World" by then. Pretty soon, it was made apparent he was talking to someone.  
  
"Who is it, Hotohori-sama!?"  
  
The emperor shrugged. "I think it's that guy you mentioned earlier. Tsukasa, the viral kid."  
  
"'Guy'." Melicia fwapped Hotohori with a paper fan before taking control of the keyboard. "Hey, Tsukasa!" she typed. "Ya know where I can find Balmung?"  
  
A delay ensued, then came Tsukasa's reply. "Why the hell would I know?"  
  
Melicia thought for a moment, then typed with lightning-fast otaku speed. "Dunno. Sorry to waste your time. I hope you get out of 'The World' safely."  
  
Tsukasa left with only a simple ". . ."  
  
Palin returned with a fairly new-looking case and monitor situated on a squeaking cart. He didn't seem satisfied, though. "Melicia, this was all I could find. I figured if I came back empty handed you'd poison me again or something, so I brought this. I would advise against operating it, though."  
  
Melicia threatened the white robe with her paper fan. "Don't tell me this is about the 'Deadly Flash'. You know I don't believe in that myth."  
  
"It happened, you doorknob!" insisted Palin. "Listen, I got this from somebody who was too willing to give it up. If you don't listen to me, I'm going to have to. . ." The wizard grew so consternated that he could have rivaled Hotohori's newfound nature. Melicia had already hooked up the set of VR goggles that had so generously been given to Palin as a special bonus (although the package had been free nonetheless).  
  
"Turn it on, Palin!" Palin groaned and executed the command. When the Altimit desktop loaded, Melicia's sights were immediately set on the icon labeled as "The World".  
  
Palin set a hand on the monitor. "You're sure about this?" he said. "This computer could be endowed with some type of incurable virus."  
  
"Don't be silly," Melicia reprimanded, gesturing to the finely tuned graphics of the system. "It's operating perfectly fine. Now, set us up, Mr. Majere. We have a special engagement to fulfill!"  
  
**End: Chapter Two** 


	3. In the Land of Twilight

Author's Note: Yay! I can finally get back to the easy stuff. No more misery for a while. Not until I get some feedback, at least. I know not a whole lot of people are reading this, mostly 'cause it isn't as funny as some of the other stuff out there. (*coughchibilinnetcough*) But to those of you who are, thanks. And if you aren't reviewing I'd like my gratitude back. Please review!  
  
Disclaimer: Blah blah, I don't own anything. Is that good enough?  
  
Melicia's Bishomon Adventures: Part Two  
  
**Start: Chapter Three**  
  
"Hey, Hotohori-sama."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you ever wonder why we're here?"  
  
"In 'The World'?"  
  
"No. In this fan-fiction. Shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves in the real world?"  
  
"You mean we're not. . .?"  
  
". . ."  
  
Melicia looked around. She had logged in a minute or two previously and met Hotohori in the Lambda server. Before asking her ridiculous question (*nervous laughter*), she had pointed out how interesting she found it that all the server names were different letters of the Greek alphabet. Haha. Alpha beta.  
  
"You know, ever since the end of volume two, the servers in the .hack game have been all messed up. I mean, look at that graphic break. It looks almost intentional, it's so screwy." Melicia began putting aromatic grass into the graphics, only to find they would come out another.  
  
Hotohori snorted. "Get up and help me find your muse." Melicia laughed and complied.  
  
"But Hotohori-sama, you are my muse!" Hotohori replied with a begrudged silence.  
  
The two left via the Chaos Gate to a random field. Considering how unprogressive that decision was, they then left because, obviously, Balmung was nowhere in sight. Melicia was devastated, at least until a random pervert came up to her and insisted she take a Power Book. All was good when the pervert disappeared. Or did he?  
  
Palin, meanwhile, was investigating Balmung's whereabouts off-line by reading the BBS. There was a lot of chatter in the Gardenia thread, which he did not choose to ignore by any means. After replying to several messages saying that fangirls can only lead to trouble, he resumed his search. One post in one thread pointed him in his quarry's direction. He forwarded the message to Melicia's e-mail address and promptly returned to the Gardenia thread.  
  
"Hotohori-sama, this is excellent! Palin's found Balmung," Melicia reported, returning from her alt-tab phase. "He says Balmung's in one of those protected areas."  
  
Hotohori resisted the need to lop her head off with his Level 30 katana. "How do you propose we enter a protected area with no virus cores?"  
  
Melicia grinned widely. "Kite will help us! He's got the Twilight Bracelet after all." Several uninformed otaku stopped in their tracks, making unbelieving accusations that the girl was insane. How dare she emit such spoilers!  
  
Back off-line, Palin was having a heated instant message discussion with someone named Moeri when he received an e-mail from Melicia instructing him to locate Kite. Great, he thought, notifying Moeri he was on another mission and would "brb". Several minutes later, another e-mail addressed to Melicia was on its way to her inbox.  
  
"Lambda: Quiet Oblivious Cabbage? That's the most absurd keyword I've ever heard of." Hotohori crossed his arms.  
  
"It's where Palin says he went. He also mentioned it being pointed out on the Gardenia Fan Club thread," Melicia said matter-of-factly. Shrugging, she warped to the area from the Chaos Gate, Hotohori having no choice but to tag along since he was in her party.  
  
The moment they arrived, Melicia let out a large, bellowing chat command: "Yo, Kite!"  
  
There was a brief pause, in which all that could be heard was doomlike field music and the sound of restless feet on lava. Then, there was a reply. "Uh, hello?"  
  
"Kite! Hi, you don't know me. I was just wondering if you could help me out. I'd like to visit a protected area but I lack the virus cores necessary." Melicia put on a pitiful face, not really caring that Kite was probably on the other side of the field and couldn't see it anyway. "I promise I'll do you any favor you want if you help me!"  
  
"She's lying. Don't listen," Hotohori added.  
  
Kite did not answer. Apparently it was a tough decision.  
  
"Anything?" he repeated, disbelieving.  
  
"Anything. I promise." Hotohori snorted in his out-of-character manner, causing Palin to jump IRL.  
  
Kite left Melicia with a three-dot pondering indication, then requested she meet him in Root Town.  
  
Another person spoke then. "This better be good," Gardenia growled, although how growling in text messages is accomplished is anyone's guess.  
  
Melicia glomped Hotohori. "We did it, Hotohori-sama!" she cried gleefully. "Kite's going to help us find Balmung."  
  
"But he doesn't know it," Hotohori pointed out, glad he wasn't in the real world or else he wouldn't be able to breathe. "Shouldn't we tell him what we're up to?"  
  
"Why do that? If he knows I'm a bishoumon trainer he probably wouldn't accept my offer." She clambered off of him, getting ready to gate out.  
  
Hotohori shrugged. "Something tells me he's more informed than we think."  
  
**End: Chapter Three** 


	4. The One Who Holds the Bracelet

Author's Note: Everything's back up to speed now. I've forgotten what day it is, though. _ I guess I don't have much to say, only that I don't put much planning into this story. That would probably explain its poor qualities. Thanks to my reviewer, Hana Towano. (Yes, I know who you are. I'm just acting professional.) Maybe I should hunt down another category I can stick this in and maybe people will read it.  
  
Disclaimer: Okay. . .Pokemon belongs to Gamefreak and Nintendo, Pocket Bishounen belongs to Tokio, Dragonlance belongs to Wizards of the Coast (and TSR, unless they sold the rights a long time ago), .hack belongs to Bandai. That about sums it up. I hope.  
  
Melicia's Bishoumon Adventures: Part Two  
  
**Start: Chapter Four**  
  
"Palin, Hotohori and I are meeting Kite in Carmina Gadelica. You can reach us in Theta if anything comes up."  
  
Palin shook his head, deleting the e-mail. "What a nimrod," he muttered. "Kite must be a really nice guy if he's going to do anything for her."  
  
~  
  
Hotohori glared at the Chaos Gate. He continued glaring for a long time. Then he glared some more. Finally, he looked at Melicia and glared at her. "He's not coming."  
  
"Poppycock. He'll be here."  
  
Suddenly a red-clad twin blade warped into Root Town, accompanied by a long arm with long blonde hair. The long arm crossed her arms and glared at the tall buildings around them, unable to meet eyes with the girl that summoned them. Melicia ignored Kite's companion and stepped forward.  
  
Kite countered and backed up. "You wanted my help?"  
  
Melicia nodded, grinning. "Just get us in and I'm in your debt."  
  
"You already owe us a favor," Gardenia commented, still averting her eyes. Hotohori blinked, a fleeting sensation occurring in his gut.  
  
"Yeah, well. . .Thanks for coming anyway." Melicia shrugged.  
  
Kite shook his head. "Don't worry about it. What are the keywords?" He narrowed his eyes. "And why do you look so familiar?"  
  
"Oh, this isn't my computer. Someone gave it to me saying she didn't want anything to do with it." Melicia leveled her pole arm, a Bloody Lance. "So far I haven't found anything to be out of the ordinary."  
  
Kite seemed to notice something about her that Melicia never saw. Either way, he repeated his earlier inquiry.  
  
"Theta: Chosen, Hopeless, Nothingness," Hotohori voiced dreamily as he gazed into Gardenia's averted eyes. Melicia and Kite exchanged glances of extreme worry, but Kite's was of something much different.  
  
"Are you sure you want to go there? I mean, there's this thing that shouldn't still be there, but it might be so maybe you'd rather. . ."  
  
Melicia waved her arms around in an attempt to stop him. "Trust me, with my pal Hotohori here, we're indestructable. I've already calculated the properties of the field and dungeon anyway. Well, a friend of mine has." She remembered vividly Palin's expertise with figuring out just what a field would look like using the keyword system, something Melicia was totally blown away with. By this it means if she pondered too long on the system her head would explode; such is the misfortune of air heads.  
  
"Okay, if you insist," Kite sighed.  
  
Kite, Melicia, Gardenia and Hotohori warped into the Theta server, arriving, as usual, in the Root Town of Dun Loireag. Hotohori was close on Gardenia's heels (and being paid little mind), while Melicia stayed near Kite. The twin blade swallowed a lump in his throat, selecting the keywords and attempting to warp. This was followed immediately by the warning alert. He input the virus cores and broke the lock on the protected area, all of which only he was able to see.  
  
Before Melicia could warp with Hotohori, Kite stopped her. "Something's fishy about all this. Do you mind if I come along?" His face was expressionless, but his voice told Melicia he was definitely worried.  
  
Unfortunately, she wasn't all too quick on the uptake.  
  
"'Course not!" she replied. "The more the merrier after all."  
  
Kite looked at Gardenia. "Are you coming, too?"  
  
Gardenia made a rude noise, voicing her displeasure. She then shook her head. "I'll wait." With that she disappeared using the Chaos Gate. Kite stared after her.  
  
Melicia, meanwhile, added Kite to her party via flash mail and they were off.  
  
Hotohori, broken from his reverie, pointed out that the field was noticeably corrupted and empty of all monsters. Kite did not look surprised, and neither did Melicia; although her lack of shock was due in part to her not caring. All she could focus on at the moment was her prize. With the adventure underway, two soon-to-be caught bishounen so very near, and a backup plan to boot (the likes of which has yet to be disclosed), what more was there to focus on?  
  
**End: Chapter Four** 


End file.
